WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS!

Yes, I really thought that september would not be a dead blogging moment for me. Turns out I hadn't posted anything and I kinda felt bad about it. I wanted to blog as often as I can but it is not happening! Well, I actually drafted something but wasn't able to post it on time before September ends:(  and it is still lying/sleeping dead in my drafted items.

Just a few glimpse of what happened with my September. I've been working-hard if I must say! I rendered a lot of OVERTIME. And it really tires me out and im not even achieving my goal:( I went home and celebrated my birthday for the first time! Got a good family bonding and then back to the bleakness of my life.

 I don't know why but I feel like I'm a blank canvas, I needed to be painted on, I needed events to unfold, colors to flash through, I'm expecting something great, grand and unexpected to unfold. Ahh, this wanderlust spirit in me is setting in again. I've had so much ideas and visions to blog about, maybe one day soon I'll be able to put it into writing. But for now, here's a cheer for my SEPTEMBER!

"Wake Me Up When September Ends"
by Green Day

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

like my father's come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when September ends
wake me up when September ends
wake me up when September ends

This Thing called "ULTIMATE"

WARNING: This blogpost is about the ultimate things in my life!

Isn't it funny how the things you'd love doing when you were younger just turns out to be a little secret hidden in the deepest part of your locker or written in the farthest corner of your diary? What a disappointment.

I remember how I used to dream so much when I was younger. Of the things I wanted to be and what i'd like to achieve. But the wheels keep turning and I find myself on the other side of the road, another part of the wheel. Changes, even if unwelcome, are always inevitable.

So now, I'm past the dreaming stage and living this thing called reality- and all I can do is remember. How I used to be, the things I wanted and dreams I aspire. There were too many moments and chances I've missed...but I won't forget the good ones too:)

I've always been an active dreamer. Like I can lie all day and dream all I want! When I was younger (much, much younger than today!), I wanted to be a journalist-newscaster, sportcaster, writer. Anything involving media work. I think I would  have been good at it (ahemm)!
 Reality check: I've never done those. I never am. But there were too close of an attempts and although this maybe humiliating remembering now, allow me to, because memories of those years gone by suddenly looms in my mind.

Well, I tried submitting a letter to a radio station, actually it was a love story during an afternoon radio program back in my hometown and I used my aunt's love story as an inspiration and of course, i've added the ideal twist and spice of life the way I imagine it to be. Boy! I actually won as letter sender of the week! and got a price too, 200 pesos. It was a sweet victory:) I shared the price with my aunt and we both bought a cone of ice cream as a reward...

After graduating in college, I work in a local town's area as an english teacher and you can just imagine how meager the income is. The good thing about it is there's a radio station within the building and got myself a job as a radio jockey. It was really a big thing for me because growing up I was a radio listener and that's how I came to win as a letter sender as well. I stayed there for 2 years and I had so many happy moments being a DJ and a teacher as well. Back in those days, I feel like I can be anything i want to be- minos the salary of course. I just realized, the things that gives happiness cause so little, and the things that gives you so much like a high paying job gives too little happiness and contentment:( What a sad thought. How lucky are those whose able to do their dreams and getting paid for it in a huge, gallant way!

Since we're on memory lane now, let me remember that i was once a very hopeless romantic girl. WAS, somewhere along the way, i don't know what happened but i become uncomfortable with the "yucky love stuff"...:( But i know the hopeless romantic lady still lives within me. Somewhere, somehow.

What about my ultimate dream? Sigh... I've always wanted to be a lawyer. Like badly wanted it. But that too, i gave up long time ago. The responsibility on my shoulder is too hard and heavy to carry that i felt pursuing my dream would mean sacrificing someone else's. And I can't do it because my family is too important for me. Not that i'm blaming them. I just can't find the balance between the time, the finances, my work and the schooling that it will require. I always knew that i'd have the strength to do it of course, no matter how hard. But well, life is just too complicated. Sometimes i think about it, in unusual places like riding in a jeepney or plain walking home, during idle moment i remember that dream and once in a while the nagging thought of what if crosses my mind...Will never know how this dream would end. Lets see...

Saving the rest of the ultimates cause i can't remember it now.!

SUBTLE, IDLE...AUGUST!

I can't believe the month of August just passed by without a single entry on my blog? Have i gone too lazy to document anything and brainfart my senseless journey?!

Oww, but my August was so boring! I can hardly remember anything exciting! This wanderlust spirit in me is unsettling, bland and how disconcerted!

Good thing i had a weekend geaway at BOHOL with my friends on the last weekend of August. Otherwise it would have been the most boring and unproductive month of my life. I'll post pics and travelouge about that trip on my next blog:)

So, here's to wishing that September would  be a hell lot different from the previous month! Looking forward for a trip home, my bday and hopefully anything unexpected will happen...

Ciao!

Need YOU Now

Lady Antebellum " Need You Now"

Oh can I just say that this is just so freaking cool?! My latest favorite song, constantly playing in my shower room:) haha. Check it out!

Need You Now

by Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

I guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

I just need you now.

Oh baby I need you now.

For the Love of Emily Dickenson

Stressfull day today. Let me leave you with these poems from my friend Emily:)

"Why do I love" You, Sir?

Emily Dickenson

"Why do I love" You, Sir?

Because—

The Wind does not require the Grass
To answer—Wherefore when He pass
She cannot keep Her place.

Because He knows—and
Do not You—
And We know not—
Enough for Us
The Wisdom it be so—

The Lightning—never asked an Eye
Wherefore it shut—when He was by—
Because He knows it cannot speak—
And reasons not contained—
—Of Talk—
There be—preferred by Daintier Folk—

The Sunrise—Sire—compelleth Me—
Because He's Sunrise—and I see—
Therefore—Then—
I love Thee—

Heart, we will forget him,

Emily Dickenson

Heart, we will forget him,
You and I, tonight!
You must forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.
When you have done pray tell me,
Then I, my thoughts, will dim.

Haste! ‘lest while you’re lagging

I may remember him!

I'm nobody! Who are you?

Emily Dickenson

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

Letter to URANOS

Dear You,

I recently had a dream about you. I don't dream that often about you anymore, but when days are colder and my world lacks a little spice, thoughts of you bolts just out of nowhere.

It shouldn't be this way. I'd learned to move on. So stop haunting my thoughts. I don't even want to remember you anymore. Don't pity me. I'm in a better place, nicer mindset. Without you there's more peace, less heartache.

I always get things the hard way, nothing comes easy and I'm cool with that. Until you get in the way. So allow me to love again...Or was I ever in love before? Maybe I was just obsessed with this idea of you and idea of this love i thought I had for you...10 years, that should be enough right? "Now I'll take my heart back, leave your pictures on the floor and steal back my memory..."

I only hope and pray that someday, I will love again greater than the way I have loved you.  Goodbye is too long, feels like it doesn't end. So let me leave it all behind. PENELOPE is gone...gone...banished. I don't think I'd like to miss her anytime.

Another Place, another time:)

I'm floating and fading somewhere else. This wanderlust spirit never seemed to settle in one place.
The heart is aching for another lifetime, another adventure.
Looking forward to live and not be afraid to dream, to believe and dare to risk and learn new things, discover new people and acquire new experiences...
Aching to forget a memory and create a new one...
Of grasping and lazing heaven and paradise all in one...
and breath, live and love as if my life depends on it...
Come, wander along with me...
Sway me to your fantasy...
I long, i live, i dream, i believe, i love...and wanna be loved more than I did, more than I desire and more than i deserve...is it too much to ask? Tell me...